…Are difficult to face, but that’s where freedom is found.

I think about Dad and how I got martyrdom in the DNA
My Mon… a sociopath.
My Dad.. a martyr.
But don’t they feed each other?
I guess without feeding it …it starves to death and we define..
Our new way…in lieu of flowers,
Kindly fuck off I say…(to the programming of centuries).
To be the rock/evolvement of the lineages is the highest form of love. ️
Trust that.
I say.
The problem with fire is when feeling burn is the only feeling you feel is real.
I’ve become a foster hoodrat who has the unexplained capacity for nuance that almost destroyed her.
Nothing they ever did ever mattered, but it did cuz it’s the mirror – the coke lines snorted from the blurry thumb prints ravished on the doorknob tho – not much to look at when we were kids.
This is the sign of shame I carry with me most days and defer to a just an upbringing..However, to survive a parent who tries to murder you is not just survival – that’s a warrior. Make no mistake about it – we are the sum of our choices and I chose to rise like the fire I am. Don’t fuck with the fire.
They tell us what to watch, see, hear, be – the only way I feel that I can have freedom of speech is with my movement – and, even with that how far can I push the envelope not even the boundaries – bodies of perfection and a sentimental look at the way things could be. A variety of lessons and some good ass nothing less than perfection.
I see it was a quasi-moment of rise – the place we find our guides. Nothing more to distract the whoa(s)– just a cradle-robber, a burial and a martyr I sometimes call …mom. And, her (fake) cries.
The bold and the beautiful creases at the point of lost interaction in the form of fuck you, mom. I love you, but fuck you, mom.
The idea of a person being so not able to stand up and be accountable for what – sins? Your God would call them, but what about my God – are they different?
Do you hear the gods of the ego speak so loud you even forgot what the word – mom meant – cuz, you never were – you, as we all, are just a vessel and, I came through yours – so thanks, for your vessel.
That’s all you ever were (and, so it is).
The vessel of a 300-plus pound woman barricading herself in her own skin and fear – hold you closer cuz I know you are hurt – you probably do – I mean you seem to feel something cuz you are alive – though…I doubt that you really are…or for not much longer with your comfort. It is either you or him or both – though, my feeling is your vessels aren’t lasting and even still am I even bothered?
What is to attach to a vessel when I can jump ship?