Archive for pain

Lost in Translation…

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , on October 5, 2018 by JenJuice

When he passed…I succumb to the bar scene….I didn’t even know where I was or where I was going…I just knew the only darkness I knew was where I went.Lost-In-Translation

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Surrender to flow…

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 2, 2018 by JenJuice

It’s OK to not have the words to say, it’s OK to not understand fully of what one is going through especially with grief as grief is a profound experience. Yet, the power of communication gives us insight into what others are experiencing. I find the more I stick with love when addressing people that are mourning is the best sentiment I can give. Love has one meaning and in that meaning, there is space for us to be where we are. And, simply, it’s what we need to hear. Especially when losing someone you love in the physical realm. Where does that love go? Has it disappeared? Or is it a feeling and now what to do with the love on a physical level?

Love is an energy – the purest and truest energy and that does not die. That does not disappear. Energy transforms forms – it never dies.

Grief is simply an attachment to a memory. Simply…

The relative space of love is a good place to begin letting go and going with the flow. Non-resistance is where it’s at. It’s where we find freedom. 

Pain is pain.

Emotions often arrive in the form of physical pain in the body. It’s kind of the shit no one really tells us – how painful grief is. I now am on a solid diet of pole dancing, yoga, aloe, and meditation to keep my physical pain settled and flowing. I found while I’m hurting emotionally that the thickness of the grief is like mud sifting through my veins. And, it hurt.

Here is the thing… we can actually rise through and out of that pain. The pain in your body is just an elevated wake-up to your being to listen to the emotional pain that needs to be addressed.

We tend to act faster when we are in physical pain, not so much to emotional pangs. But, you can’t have one without the other. Pain is pain any way you look at it. Listen gently to these identifiers when they knock, when they whisper, when they call, when they scream, listen to what they have to say. Time and time again it’s the roundabout bottom line – to listen….non-resistance is key.

It’s as if we are the moon – we are the sea of fish…..We are the ocean.

I found the meaning of flow the day I scuba-dove in Thailand.

While underwater and just flowing…going with the current. If I held my breath, my body would retract. If I moved out of the flow, the school of fish eradication would occur. If I swam against the current I would not have the strength to go very far. So, I found..the meaning of surrender….in flow. It was that simple when I stopped fighting.14590123_10208338673159334_5698636977334885447_o

Overdosed on Life….

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 24, 2018 by JenJuice

The reason humans do drugs to the point of no return, the highest peak, the stable blue, the red line, the morphine drip that won’t sink the heavy line –
the reason any of us escape our pain with an overdose – is pain, sure, but that specific pain stems from loneliness.

So, what does loneliness mean? It’s OK to be alone. It’s not OK to be lonely. When we think we are separate from one another is the only time we feel lonely and afraid.

Build on that Love, ask yourself, what does Love mean?

No Separating. Love is US. The energy which made us.

I miss you so much.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , on January 4, 2017 by JenJuice

No one can hear that heart-wrenching cry that only comes out when I think of you.
And how you aren’t here…and how are you not on this earth any more.
I know energy doesn’t die…but my heart did. When you did.

What’s it Like…..to Die.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 22, 2015 by JenJuice

animeSo, what is grief like? What is that profound state of not understanding..
What’s it like to be fully aware and fully present in love with the one soulmate that
Took my breath and breathed it back into me…
And what is it like when he walks in front of a car that hits and murders him
And leaves him solemnly alone on the side of the road to die….what’s it like
You ask.
What’s it like to find life again after finding the truest form of love….die.
What’s it like to watch all your other friends and life move on…they go on having babies, getting married, being happy and having the run of the mill..this is what it’s supposed to be like life.
What’s it like to be not in this much profound pain.
What’s it like to feel again?
What’s it like to love again?
What’s it like to love and die at the same time.
What’s that like. Tell me.

Be-titled….

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , on October 10, 2013 by JenJuice

There she meets progress infamously parading itself
like it did when I was near by…you
surrendered…
to the beliefs I rendered
knowing the path has proven itself
and myself like a tantrum of calm
never had one arm hung
and one throat choked
Another swinging from a pole
I drive into the ground
like Jesus found a myriad of truth
A trickle of a whisper crawls down my thigh
Swimming in thoughts
some place between you and me…