Archive for Life

Energetic responses…

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 11, 2018 by JenJuice

My biological sister, who was adopted, found me today. And, people question data and forensics. DNA rules do exist in numbers… I feel often like my Dad is how Eminem is with his daughter in his rhymes. Like…Daddy loves you and will do everything to make your life better kind of Dad.
I’m processing this overwhelming information and energy. 
Cuz…Merry Christmas from Dad. From the beyond (And, Near).
My Dad told me of her….and, all I knew was her name was Angel ..and, it is.

How I process in reel time…

 

inFlow

 

 

 

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Frequency level…

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2018 by JenJuice

I speak to the subconscious.21728357_10211285407265845_3806728693056502364_n

Mind(er)ingz.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , on August 24, 2018 by JenJuice

The mind exists to figure itself out.

Why are we?

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , , on August 17, 2018 by JenJuice

I have tried to implicate my life as a social introvert…when in reality, I’m an introvert trying on an extroverted perception for some time….but, words are clumsy, so…
I’ll just be me.

Texas Tornado – Presence.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2018 by JenJuice

If I had evidence of where I started, I may be able to have an anchor, but, thank God, I don’t. I don’t have any photographs before I was 3 years old..My mom claims my baby photos were lost in one of the floods we had as a baby…Houston is Wetlands – floods happen. However, why was my brother’s baby photos preserved and not mine? I reckon my mother destroyed any evidence of a reminder of the time she was hurting out of control…like me, I remind her of my Dad..the representation of unconditional love and that’s us. And, one can only love another to the depth they love themselves.

I didn’t meet my birth father until I was 20…not cuz we didn’t want to meet, but because I was in the prison of my mother’s ego. The ‘use the child as a weapon’ mentality…that just is ego..fear-based quantitative supported by capitalism. It’s as if this ego-sense is a new term. And, the only question is, how do I respond? Because the only thing we have control we have is our responses to any action. How did I get this concept so young? I remember my mom was young (24 years old) and getting stoned and partying (as any 24 year old does) and I’m 3….the other kids were all in my brother’s room “behaving” the parents’ words. There a few older kids just sitting in my brother’s room, silent, obedient, no questions asked, just yes ma’am. And, me, Jen..3 years old seeing my mom happy and everyone smiling and having fun and my instinct..was they are probably hungry. So, 3-year-old Jen goes and gets Doritos and spreads them on a cookie sheet and adds American cheese as dressing and puts in the oven to heat to melt. As I recall this memory, I haven’t a clue how a 3-year-old has this instinctual behavior, but I’ve always been me..,..

I remember looking at the bong and hearing the bubbly water and wondered what made those bubbles occur just like their smiles. Cuz, I knew after the smiles would come the after party of the downer I have this little girl..and “fuck you, bitch!” she screams….and, I just believed her…cuz, mom knows all.
My mom’s not a bad lady…she would have been better if she knew how to love herself and that’s not something intuitive or even known for most….

So, what do you say to self-love?…that’s your truest superpower.

Self-love means pausing, sitting alone with yourself in your own presence and just being still in your space. My Dad always told me, “don’t ever let anyone steal your joy. In the good or the bad” Present energy is always joy, the truest state..words are clumsy, so, hear beyond the words.

Commitment Diaries….

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 27, 2018 by JenJuice

My mindset was always to be completely healthy before inviting another human in. And, it’s a process from where you are and your energy space.

I used to believe I wasn’t a commitment person cuz I didn’t know what that really meant. Every commitment I saw or marriage just seemed stale, stagnant and unhappy….and, I thought why would you feel a force like that? Then I thought, I totally am a commitment person…I am committed to me.

rope

Overdosed on Life….

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 24, 2018 by JenJuice

The reason humans do drugs to the point of no return, the highest peak, the stable blue, the red line, the morphine drip that won’t sink the heavy line –
the reason any of us escape our pain with an overdose – is pain, sure, but that specific pain stems from loneliness.

So, what does loneliness mean? It’s OK to be alone. It’s not OK to be lonely. When we think we are separate from one another is the only time we feel lonely and afraid.

Build on that Love, ask yourself, what does Love mean?

No Separating. Love is US. The energy which made us.